Abraham and Mary Lincoln
An Unlikely Couple
Mary Ann Todd: A Force to Reckon WithMany of America's First Ladies have been complex, unique, and interesting women. Perhaps the one presidential wife who personifies all three of these adjectives is Mary Lincoln. She was born Mary Ann Todd in Lexington, Kentucky, on December 13, 1818. Her father was Robert Smith Todd, a wealthy plantation owner. Mary's mother, Eliza Ann (Parker) Todd, died when Mary was seven years old. He father eventually remarried; Mary's stepmother was a woman named Elizabeth Humphrey. It became apparent from an early age that Mary was a headstrong, highly intelligent, and very opinionated young lady.
Radical Ideas
Mary's father was quite progressive, considering the time and place in which he lived. One radical idea that Mr. Todd believed in was co-education of boys and girls. Accordingly, Mary was enrolled at Lexington's prestigious girls' finishing school, Mentelle's Academy, after she completed her formal schooling at age 13. It was here that Mary learned to appreciate English and French literature, learned to speak French with a flawless Parisian accent, and became an accomplished dancer of the polka, the schottische, and the waltz, among other popular dances of the day. Mary was more intelligent than most of her male peers and did not suffer fools gladly. She had a sharp tongue and expressed her opinions freely.
Primary Passion
While Mary enjoyed her cultural and recreational studies, nothing excited her more than politics. Political discussions and meetings of prominent political leaders were the norm in the Todd household. Young Mary sat in on these meetings and more often than not participated. She was a delightful and attractive girl, and she was very popular within Lexington social circles. Still, Mary wanted more out of life, so she traveled to Springfield, Illinois, to visit her sister, Elizabeth Edwards, who had found a doctor for sister Frances there. None of the young men in Lexington appealed to Mary, who was the next Todd sister in line to be wed, and Elizabeth had found someone in Springfield who she believed was a perfect match for Mary.
Miss Todd Finds Her Man
As soon as Mary arrived in Illinois' capital city, she formed a social circle called "the coterie." Mary quickly became the star of the group, and she immediately garnered the attention of many of its eligible bachelors. There was one bachelor, however, who was particularly intrigued by this bright, vivacious woman-- her cousin John Todd Stuart's junior law partner and member of the Illinois legislature. He, like Mary, was a native Kentuckian, and his name was Abraham Lincoln.
Abraham and Mary could not be more opposite each other. Mary was petite and on the plump side, while Abe was extremely tall and gangly. Mary came from an aristocratic background. Abe, on the other hand, was poor and hailed from Kentucky's backwoods. Mary was a social leader, whereas Abe was socially awkward. Despite all these differences, they were bonded together through their love of the political process and expansive knowledge of the issues of the day, which included slavery.
Cold Feet
Abraham and Mary wanted to marry, but there were a few obstacles. First, Lincoln's financial situation made him feel insecure about his ability to provide for a wife and possible family. Secondly, Elizabeth began having second thoughts about her sister marrying a man of such humble means. Most importantly, Mary decided she needed a little more time to find herself before making a serious committment. Mary left Springfield for Columbia, Missouri, to visit her cousin Judge David Todd and her cousin Ann. There were plenty of eligible bachelors in Columbia, but after several months, Mary began to miss her gangly backwoods lawyer and became convinced that no other man compared to him.
Supposedly Mismatched Couple Says, "I Do."
Mary eventually returned to Springfield-- she now knew Abe was the man she was supposed to marry. A simple ceremony took place on November 4, 1842, at Elizabeth and her husband Ninian Edwards' home. The bride was just shy of 24, and the groom was 33. Mary's sister and brother-in-law initially forbade the wedding to take place in their home, but they reneged upon finally realizing there was nothing they could do to stop it. Abe and Mary were "soulmates," and that was that.
Reference:
Harris, Bill. The First Ladies Fact Book: The Stories of the Women of the White House from Martha Washington to Laura Bush, p. 223-6. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc., 2005.
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